Because All The Cool Kids Are Doing It

And also because it’s raining and I’m bored.

30 things you may not know about me:

1: I have been riding my entire life, literally. My mother rode until the day before I was born, then brought me home from the hospital and stuck me on a horse. It should be noted that my parents were teenagers, and it was the 70s. Good decisions were not always made.

2: I studied neuroethology in college. What the hell is neuroethology? (That’s what everyone asks.) Neuroethology is the biological basis of behavior. What the hell does one do with degrees in neuroethology? That’s #3.

3. I ran the facilities that house laboratory animals for universities. Laboratory animals are absolutely necessary for the advancement of our understanding of biology and medicine. Every person who works with laboratory animals understands this, and also knows firsthand the sacrifice these animals make for us all. As such, we are dedicated to providing the highest level of care and comfort to the animals. In order to accomplish this, the animal’s natural behavior is used to design housing and handling procedures that minimize stress and promote happy, healthy animals. That may seem like an oxymoron, but happy, healthy lab animals was my job. I could write a lot more about this, but it isn’t “30 things you may not know about laboratory animals”.

4: I have a minor degree in Russian. At one time I was fluent, but that was almost 20 years ago. Russian isn’t a super useful language in the US, so I don’t use it much. I can still read and write in Cyrillic, but I’d be hard pressed to have a conversation beyond polite pleasantries.

5: I’m allergic to monkeys. I learned this after I had an anaphylactic reaction to a vaccine, because several vaccines and other medical treatments use cells from monkeys as a culture medium, and that’s also why I always have to list my monkey allergy on medical forms. It’s made for a lot of interesting conversations with medical staff. “You’re allergic to….. what?”

6: I have synesthesia. I “see” letters, numbers and some abstract ideas as colors. Example: “T” is dark blue, “3” is green, and the feeling of being sick is purple. I can’t really explain it better than that, because it’s my normal. How do you see letters, numbers and abstract ideas?

7: I have an extremely dark sense of humor. It gets me into trouble frequently.

Why can’t I make this image bigger?

8: I don’t like sweets. Given the choice between dessert or a second helping of a savory meal, I will always take seconds.

9: I manage to get a container of alcohol into nearly every picture I take. I like to call that “ambiance”.

10: My least favorite individual animal is my neighbor’s peahen. She stares in my windows and shits on my porch.

Go home, bitch!

11: My least favorite species of animal is goats. I’m sure there are individual goats that are wonderful, but as a species they’re generally awful.

12: My major contribution to society is inappropriate yet hilarious memes.

Admit it, you laughed.

13: I really love gardening. I even have my own greenhouse and keep a ridiculously detailed journal of all my plants and stuff.

14: I’m terrified of lightning. If I see lightning, I will scream, drop to the ground, and then army crawl back to the house.

15: I can army crawl really fast. (Especially when I see lightning.)

16: I tend to do really stupid shit, not because I’m uninformed or ignorant, but because I routinely tell my voice of reason to shut the hell up. This frequently results in medical appointments where I have to answer the question, “You’re allergic to what?” (See #5)

17: I was almost thrown out of The Greenbrier for standing on a table and singing Bon Jovi’s “Living On A Prayer” loudly and poorly. (See #16)

This is The Greenbrier.

18: #17 was neither the first nor the last time I stood on furniture and loudly, yet poorly, belted out classic rock tunes in a public venue. It was the fanciest place I ever did it, though.

19: In addition to classic rock, I also listen to gangsta rap, 90’s alternative and grunge, and Mariah Carey.

20: I’m drinking prosecco while I write this.

21: I had to look at the bottle of prosecco to make sure I spelled “prosecco” right.

22: In addition to horses, dogs and cats, I also have several aquariums. My biggest tank houses a 10 inch long fish named Melvin. I also keep salamanders and frogs.

“That’s Melvin Richard Chesterfield the First to you.”

23: I buy cheap sundresses from Target and Walmart to wear for farm chores in the summer. I’m the weirdo driving a tractor in a cute sundress, and I don’t care.

24: It’s really hard to come up with 30 interesting things about myself, and I’m totally padding this.

25:My husband and I eloped in Jamaica. Technically, we’re only legally married in Jamaica and if we lose our marriage certificate we have no way to prove we’re married.

26: I can’t donate blood because I take immune suppressant drugs, but it’s no real loss because my blood type is B. B is the second rarest blood type and I can only give blood to other people with B type. They’re not exactly looking for my blood.

27: I only know my blood type because I taught a biology lab course as a grad student. One of the lab activities was blood typing, and I used my own blood for the demonstration.

28: I don’t have a bucket list, because I tend to just do whatever the fuck I want anyway. (See #16, 17 and 18)

29: I’m one interesting thing away from 30.

30: “We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got. It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not. We’ve got each other, and that’s a lot. For love, we’ll give it a shot! Woah! We’re half way there! Woah! Living on a prayer!”

IMG_4080
This may or may not be a picture of me at The Greenbrier before or after I was asked to leave the ballroom for singing Bon Jovi songs while standing on a table. (See #17)

Special thanks to The Sprinkler Bandit and The Dressage Barbie for helping me pad out this list. I could not have made it to 30 without you!

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3 thoughts on “Because All The Cool Kids Are Doing It

  1. Omg I laughed so hard. Between the monkey allergy, the neighbor’s peahen, the only being legally married in Jamaica 😂😂😂 my life is so tame in comparison. But I’m digging the sundress/farm chores idea, I need to try that! As far as #12 — thank you for your service 😉😎

    Liked by 1 person

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